Love GirlsGone50 Style

"You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not.”  – Jodi Picoult

Let’s face it, how many of us have gotten into fights on Valentine’s Day over Valentine’s Day?

After years of overpriced dinners, gifts that get returned anyway, and getups that make us feel like mutton dressed as sausage, we’ve arrived at this profound bit of wisdom:

Love means never having to say, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

As one friend says, “We don’t celebrate Valentine's at all anymore.  It’s more meaningful to try to celebrate love every day rather than carving out one day a year.” 

For another friend, whose husband shall remain anonymous, Valentine’s is the day he reserves a table for two at the CPA’s to do taxes. “And then we go to the deli for a nice corned beef sandwich,” she adds, flush with excitement. If that isn’t love, what is?

And then there’s that friend who continues to make the effort.

“We always have dinner at our special occasion place. We will be seated at our usual table where there will be two glasses of champagne waiting for us. We’ll take our time feasting on an amazing 4-course meal until we’re ready to burst and then flop into bed by 9:30. Sounds boring, but I feel really lucky.” 

For another friend, who is single, her choice would be to "sail the Bay bundled in warm blankets at sunset in a lovingly restored vintage sailboat, accompanied by a hand-selected assortment of my favorite gourmet snacks,(fed to me by the skipper) accompanied by a fabulous bottle of vino, while listening to the best Pandora romance mix of Ella, Duke, and Louis Armstrong."

Short of that, she is just fine being her own Valentine, "binge watching with a box of Sees candy." 

In the U.S. and Europe, Valentine’s Day historically is a holiday for lovers. But in other corners of the world, February 14 is usually referred to as some version of “love day."

And isn't that the point after all? Lovers may come and go (even if they're the same person) but love for the sake of love, including for ourselves, is what's worth celebrating. 

Even those for whom Valentines Day is the most hated holiday can take heart. Here’s a list of Anti-Valentine’s celebrations in Los Angeles this year from a BOGO anti-Valentine’s ice cream party to the burger bistro, Plan Check’s Val(ANTI)ne’s Day dinner party “for the singles, the haters and the freedom celebrators.” Dishes might include finger-licking “Relationships are Messy” foods like Sloppy Joes and ribs, and “Save your Breath” specials laden with all things piquant and pungent. So you can still be a lover, even if it’s a garlic lover.